What do you remember?

As we get older it is a sad fact that people we love pass from this world and our lives. Some times for some reason I just sit and think of the people that I have lost, and what they meant to me. I am not talking about some morbid thoughts of what could have been. I think of the joy I experienced because these people were in my life. Some of you who read this will not feel the same way I do about these people. That’s ok I love you for who you are, and the joys you bring into my life.

Let me begin by saying I was not the best son, grandson, or brother that ever was. I am the best I know how to be and the influence of all these people help make me who I am. When my Grandmother died I indulged in some good old fashioned self pity. I felt she was the last of my parents and I was now an orphan. I was wrong in that thought, I am not and orphan and never will be. At fifty-one I am still learning and growing, influenced by people that love me.

As the youngest of five children, quite often I am sure I was a pain in the neck. But my Grandmother John, my Dads, mom would not let me be left out. One of my fondest memories of her was a two person game of trouble, just me and her. I had the attention span of a gnat and the “big kids” did not want me to mess up their game. All was right with the world.

Grandfather John was somewhat of a patriarch in my mind. That does not mean in reality he was some mythic head of the family. He just seemed so to one child. My best memory of him is a very firm lesson about loaded guns. You can feel how you want about striking a child, but a cuff to the back of the head because I did not check a weapon correctly probably is the reason I never shot my own foot off. To this day I double check any weapon even if I am the one that unloaded it.

Grandmother Newman was simply the most awesome grandmother one could have. From sitting with me or my children telling stories about the past to a thimble to the top of my noggin to jog my memory of spelling words she was the consummate grandmother. The stories she told me about my Grandfather Newman are the only memories I have of him and I thank her from the bottom of my heart for that.

Mother I will miss you for the rest of my life. I hope some day I will get to sing “Buffalo Gals” to my grand children. You know I was probably a teen ager before I realized you were joking about falling asleep and missing that bridge. Sorry folks this part is just between me and her.

Dad was not always there, but he did teach me some things and as an adult I had the opportunity to get to know him better. He taught me respect for others. He taught me to take responsibility for my own actions and try to make a difference in my world. Dad was never happy with his own parenting but I truly believe he did the best he knew how.

Pat, what does one say about and angel? We disagreed on politics and many social issues but you taught me that was ok. My middle sister never compromised her beliefs. She was beautiful inside and out. Pat do you remember when they asked you for your hall pass when you came to get your sick little brother from school? It was in a Jr. high and you were 21, that’s fun for kids of all ages.

Uncle Charles, with out knowing you taught me, never give up. I do not know how many times you started over but you always made it back.

Mrs. May, Your undying love for your Children and Husband were an inspiration. Your tenacity in their defense is awe inspiring.

Homer and Sue Little you were the definition of dedication to family.

Susan Parker, now matter what cards you were dealt you smiled in the face of it and never gave up.

Chris, Marci and Verne, do not think I love you less or that I have learned nothing from you. This was just some lubrication for my soul. This whole article was just me telling my self why my tears are justified sometimes. I miss the ones that are gone and that’s ok.

I wake up every day and, decide this will be a good day. I learned this from the people that have influenced me in my life over the years. No one said I should do it. They taught that lesson quietly and with out words. Look around at the people in your life. What are they teaching you with out knowing it?